


As Hoarded as Gold

by FestiveFerret



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Omega Tony Stark, Panic Attacks, Secrets, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Trope-Off Celebration Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/pseuds/FestiveFerret
Summary: Steve wakes up in a new world, in 2008, and joins the Avengers where he finally gets to meet the man whose name has been imprinted on his skin since birth. But Tony Stark is closed-off, distant, and disinterested. While Steve is trying to come to grips with finding out his soulmate doesn't want him, he can't help but notice the decline of Tony's health. Worried about his heart after the arc reactor, Steve steps up to help him, but when Tony confesses what's really wrong, it's not at all what Steve expected.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 57
Kudos: 1195





	As Hoarded as Gold

**Author's Note:**

> Trope-Off round one is over! And the winner is MUTUAL PINING!! Silver medal went to Soulmates and bronze to A/B/O! So I wrote this fic that includes all three yay! I also threw in some mpreg cause it's A/B/O and why not go whole hog. PS they use dam and sire for the alpha and omega parents of a child in this one.
> 
> I've futzed with the timeline a bit, and Steve's thawing + Loki happens much earlier, very shortly after Tony gets back from Afghanistan.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who played Trope-Off. If you didn't get to play, but you want to join in for round two, follow me on twitter @festiveferret :D
> 
> Thank you to ashes for beta! <3

Shaking the hand of his soulmate for the first time wasn't at all what Steve expected. The omega was carefully groomed, in an impeccable suit, but there was a pained wildness to his eyes that he couldn't always cover with sunglasses and a stressy, sour taste to his scent. Steve had been given the files on the whole team, and he knew that Stark had only been rescued from a three month-long kidnapping four months ago. He'd come back with a prototype for Iron Man in his brain and built it as soon as his jet hit the tarmac in LA.

He'd also lived thirty-eight years of his life without his soulmate. It was something common back in Steve's day, when it was harder to find people, even with a name and a birth year, but everything he read about the future suggested it wasn't like that anymore. Everyone had their mate; everyone knew.

Steve had an idea of what it felt like to hit the ground running, thawed and tossed unceremoniously into the Avengers after only two weeks in the future, but Tony had a wound-tight desperation to the way he did everything that made Steve tense and worried. 

The hardest part of it all was that Tony very pointedly ignored that Steve was his soulmate.

"Steven Grant McGurran Rogers," Steve said, as Tony's palm fitted against his for the barest shake. There was no flicker of recognition but there was also no way Tony hadn't known who his soulmate was all this time. Just like there was no question in Steve's mind that the  _ Anthony Edward Carbonell Stark, 1970,  _ carved by fate on his ankle was the man standing in front of him.

"You can call me Tony," Tony said, almost aggressively pushing away the convention to introduce himself with his matename. 

The only way Tony could have made it clearer that he wasn't interested in bonding was if he'd cut his own foot off and given it to Steve so he could have his mark back. 

Fighting for their lives didn't give Steve much time to worry about it, but after the Chitauri were gone, Tony invited the team to bunker down in his tower, and since Steve's apartment building had been destroyed in the battle, he didn't really have anywhere else to go.

If he thought Tony would be more affectionate or interested now that the immediate threat was gone, he was swiftly proven otherwise.

"Duty calls," Tony called out, swanning past the gathered team, token sunglasses and strained grin hiding his face. 

Steve frowned after him then turned to Natasha. "Is he always like that?"

She managed to shrug without moving her shoulders. "I didn't know him before Afghanistan. Pepper says he changed."

"Well… that's got to have an impact," Bruce added softly. "A trauma like that."

Steve flushed. "Of course. I didn't mean… I just. I was just wondering if it bothered him, having us here."

"Surely, he wouldn't have invited us in if it did," Clint offered. 

"Maybe."

Tony didn't become any less enigmatic as time went on. 

The rest of the team seemed to accept him as he was, but Steve found he just  _ couldn't.  _ Maybe it was the soulbond constantly rubbing at the back of his mind. Or maybe it was his own stubbornness. If Tony was bothered by Steve's hovering and pestering and prodding, he didn't say so, and no one complained when Steve plopped himself down beside Tony at every movie night.

**

Tony smelled like alpha all the time, but if he had a mate, Steve never saw them. Tony had a reputation for "finding fun," but if he was still doing that, Steve didn't know how he found the time. Still, the ever-present, lingering bite of another alpha caught Steve's nose every time he stood close enough to scent him. It was always the  _ same  _ alpha too.

At first, Steve thought it was Pepper, but once he met her, it was clear it wasn't. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to ask Tony who his alpha was. He sniffed around with the others for answers as well, but only got shrugs in response. Clint told him to check Tony's Instagram, and Steve put in the half hour it took to figure out how to do that, but still didn't find anything.

Then, one night, it came up completely naturally.

"You seeing anyone?" Tony asked Bruce, mouth of green beans. 

Steve perked up from his seat at the dinner table.

Bruce shook his head. "Not right now."

"You looking? Cause I've got someone in mind."

"Probably not right now…" Bruce mumbled.

Tony clapped him on the shoulder. "Let me know."

"What about you, Tony?" Clint said. "You seeing someone?"

Tony snorted out a wry laugh. "Nah." He tapped his chest. "Night light doesn't exactly haul in the alphas. This bird flies solo for the foreseeable future. Why you offering?"

Clint laughed and threw a breadstick at Tony, but now Steve had his answer, but it didn't explain the scent. And that wasn't the only thing it seemed like Tony was hiding.

**

"Hey, Nat?"

"Hmm?" Natasha paused in her ballet routine.

"Does Tony seem unwell to you?"

"Yes."

"Aren't you worried?"

Nat tapped her chest. "The arc reactor has done a number on his health. Saved his life but nearly claimed it too. He came back suffering from palladium poisoning." She walked across the room and leaned in close to Steve. "I'm only telling you this because I saw your mark in your file, Steve. I don't actually know if Tony ever fully recovered from the palladium poisoning. All I know is that I was pre-briefed, five weeks after Tony was rescued, for a mission I was never sent on. And part of the briefing was the reactor and how it was killing him. Something must have changed since then, but I don't know what."

Steve paid special attention to Tony's heart after that, and what he found scared him. When he closed his eyes and focused, when the rest of the room was quiet, he could hear an off-beat in the thump of Tony's heart. Some googling led him to an arrhythmia and he didn't like what he read about that. It felt uncomfortably invasive to spy on Tony's medical situation like this, but Steve couldn't help but hyper-focus on his soulmate. 

The incomplete bond itched at the back of his mind every time he and Tony were in a room together. He wondered if Tony felt it too. But if he did, why didn't he say anything?

**

"Tony?" Steve knocked then stepped inside Tony's workshop. Tony's back was to him, his shirt pulled up and caught in his teeth while he examined his own chest in the reflective surface of his monitor. Steve caught a glimpse of the blue glow of the arc reactor and then Tony's eyes cut to match his in the mirror. The shirt dropped down immediately, and Tony spun around with something sharp flashing in his eyes. "Sorry," Steve said immediately. "I knocked. I should have waited. I -"

"It's fine." Tony kept smoothing his shirt down, hands fluttering over his chest. "I was just -" He gestured towards the reactor. "It's fine."

Steve wasn't sure if he was forgiving Steve again for barging in or answering his unasked question about whether something was wrong with the rector or not. "Clint asked me to give you this." Steve handed over the packet of papers Clint had given him earlier. Perhaps Steve had been a bit too eager to take the errand off his hands and bring it down himself, but any excuse to see Tony…

"Oh. Thanks." Tony tossed the stack on the corner of his desk. "Do you think the comms are working as well as they could be? I think we caught some static earlier."

"They seemed fine to me," Steve said, latching onto the opportunity for a conversation. Tony's scent was sour but he looked relaxed, easy. Steve took a step closer. "My hearing is exceptionally strong, though, so I might not notice distortion that would bother someone else."

"Good point. I just think it's best if we -" Tony turned, but his balance failed him and he stumbled sideways, bumping his hip on the table. Steve was at his side in a heartbeat. He hooked an arm around Tony's waist and all but carried him to the couch. "I'm fine," Tony grumbled out.

"You looked like you were going to pass out. You still look pale." Steve sunk to a crouch in front of Tony and sucked in a deep breath then let it out slowly. "I - You look like that a lot. Just - Tony… please tell me what's going on. Please." He dropped a hand to each of Tony's knees and squeezed gently before releasing them again. 

Tony remained silent, eyes dropping to his lap. "I'm fine…" He didn't sound like he was even trying to be convincing anymore.

"Natasha said.. She said something about the arc reactor - palladium? That SHIELD had offered you help at one point -"

"It's not that." Tony shook his head. "I solved that within two weeks of getting back."

"Because it was hurting you?" Steve prompted, hoping they could get to what was still hurting him.

But Tony shook his head. "No. Because it was…" He swallowed heavily then reached for Steve's hand. Steve gave it easily, and Tony slid it under his shirt, pressing Steve's hand flat over his belly. "Because it was hurting her."

Steve's mouth fell open as realization dawned. His fingers twitched against Tony's skin, eyes falling to the loose folds of Tony's bulky sweatshirt. He leaned closer, twisting his ear towards Tony's stomach. _That_ was what it was. Not an arrhythmia, but a second heartbeat, tiny and faint, but there. _"Her…"_

Tony made a small, startled noise, like hearing someone else say it was making it too real. 

And that was the alpha scent, the baby's sire. "Do you know who -?"

"No." Tony cut him off, eyes flicking over his shoulder and far away. "It was… Afghanistan."

"That was six months ago."

"I know."

Steve closed his eyes for a moment, putting aside the rage and the possessive jealousy and the fear and frustration. He squeezed his lips together, then rolled his eyes back up to Tony. He reclaimed his hand, feeling like Tony wasn't going to shake him off, but needing him to feel like he had space. "How can I help?"

Tony blinked. "What?"

"How can I help you?"

"You're not going to ask me what I've been eating? If I've been going to the doctor? Chastise me for the coffee and the alcohol and the recklessness? Don't you want to know if she's okay?"

Steve nodded. "Of course I want to know if she's okay, but that's your business, not mine. I shouldn't have pushed, honestly, but I was so worried about you, Tony. But shaming you for past behaviour isn't going to change what's already done, and if I push too hard now, you're just going to shut me out. Besides, none of that matters. She's yours, if that's your choice, but  _ you're _ mine - in a way - and I just want to make sure you're okay. And be here for you, whatever that means."

Tony tucked his lip between his teeth. "I'm yours?"

Heart pounding, Steve sat back on the floor and pulled up his pant leg then rolled his sock down. There on his ankle was the faded white line, a thin raised scar carved into him at birth:  _ Anthony Edward Carbonell Stark 1970.  _

"I thought it was a trick when I was young. No one else I knew had a soulmate that was born half a century after them. But when I woke up in the future my first thought was:  _ maybe he's alive."  _ Steve covered his ankle again and scraped a hand over his face. "And you were."

"I grew up being told my soulmate was dead." Tony made no move to bare his own, and Steve ached with need to see his name on the other man's skin but he didn't ask. "Howard told me the universe gave me you so I could try and live up to your memory." 

Phantom pain rippled through Steve's frame. "That's horrible."

They sat in silence for a while. "You - um. You really want to help?" Tony asked so quietly Steve had to strain to hear him.

"Any way I can."

"Don't laugh."

"I won't. I promise."

"Can I… Can I have a dirty pair of your pajamas?"

Steve snorted then slapped a hand over his mouth.

Tony pouted but he was laughing too. "You promised!"

"I'm sorry! I'm not laughing at you. I was just startled. I thought it was going to be something - I don't know - medical or something. I can do that."

"I - um. I don't have a nest, but it's supposed to help with morning sickness. I think sleeping with something that smells like sleepy alpha will help. Maybe."

"Of course. You could sleep in my bed?" Steve offered. Then his cheeks caught fire when he realized how that sounded. "I mean - I could sleep in the guest suite and you could have my room. My - uh - my sheets smell - and uh. Yeah."

Tony smiled softly. "Let's start with the clothes."

"Okay." Steve couldn't keep his eyes away from Tony's midsection now that he knew a tiny life was growing in there. "You want to keep this a secret from everyone."

Tony sighed, gaze flicking away again. "Yeah…"

"Okay."

"That easy?"

"Not my choice."

"Didn't think you were big on choice back in the 40s."

Steve frowned. He opened his mouth to snap back but Tony held up a hand with a sigh. 

"Sorry. I was just trying to piss you off. Pepper says I test people till they leave so I have someone to blame when they do."

"I'm not leaving."

"You can. I mean you don't have to feel obligated to be here because of…" Tony gestured vaguely towards Steve's leg. "I don't even know why I told you about her."

"You know there are some people who say your soulmate isn't the person you're meant to be with, just the person who has the most significant impact in your life."

"Yeah, I've heard it."

"If… If I'm going to have a significant impact in your life, Tony, I want it to be a good one."

Tony's whole expression softened, melting a little at the edges. He still looked far away, untouchable, but he also looked gentler, easier, less pained, and that was really all Steve could hope for.

**

The next few weeks were hard. Steve gave Tony some of his clothes and pillowcases, rotating them every few days, and while Tony said it helped, he didn't ask for anything else or give Steve any other way he could be helpful. He didn't want to push, but his alpha need to provide thrummed deep inside him, and not being there for Tony was an itch he couldn't scratch and couldn't ignore. 

"Hungry?" he asked, when he came back from a run to find Tony flopped on the communal couch.

Tony half shrugged. "Not really."

Steve turned away before he grit his teeth and huffed, keeping his frustration to himself. It wasn't Tony's fault he didn't need anything. It wasn't like Steve would wish dependence on the omega, but he wouldn't mind if he was just a teeny tiny bit less independent, just in little ways that didn't matter. Feeling useless didn't sit well with Steve.

**

"Hey, Steve? I could use your help with something." 

Steve nearly flung himself off the couch in his eagerness. "Anything."

Tony winced. "You're not going to like it."

"What is it?"

"I haven't been to a real doctor in person yet. JARVIS has been doing scans and ultrasounds and Helen's been talking me through some things on video chat. I - I just -"

"You don't have to justify it to me," Steve said softly. "What do you need?"

"I need to go in. Helen says it's time. I need blood tests and stuff and other things J can't do and she can't do from a distance. I'd like you to come with me."

"Of course."

But Tony was still grimacing like he was braced for impact. "They're going to assume we're together…"

Steve let one shoulder rise then fall. "I guess."

"I… I need you to go along with that…"

"You want me to lie and say we're together?" A thousand jumbled images rattled through Steve's mind but he couldn't form them into a cohesive thought. 

"Yes." Tony rubbed his hands over his face, fluffing up the front of his hair into an unruly mess. "Please. They're going to want an alpha to put down and…"

"Tony…" Steve took a step closer and dropped his voice low. "Are you - are you asking me to be the alpha on the birth certificate?"

Tony's mouth fell open then snapped closed again. "I… honestly hadn't thought that far ahead. Shit. I - I can't ask you to do that." He sunk down onto the couch and dropped his face into his palms with a groan. 

Steve sat next to him, leaving a careful half-cushion of space between their thighs. "I'll do it," he said softly.

"I can't ask you to do that, Steve. That would make you this baby's sire legally. If something happened to me, you'd have to take her."

"Well… who did you think would take her?"

"What?" Tony looked up.

"We're soulmates. I'm your closest natural kin now, since your parents are gone and you have no siblings or legal partners. Unless you don't have your mark anymore -" Steve choked around the thought, trying not to show how painful the very idea was "- it's likely that if something happened to you, they'd find out that I am. So if you didn't have someone else in your will, they'd give her to me anyway."

"Huh." Tony stared at me. "That had honestly never occurred to me."

"So, uh, yeah. I'll go to the doctor with you. And you can put whoever you want on the birth certificate and… well, I guess you should make a will," Steve finished lamely. 

Tony gave him an odd look. "Okay. Thank you."

The doctor's office was a lot of hurry up and wait. Helen had referred Tony to an omega specialist in Manhattan, who hadn't been told what the appointment was for. They were bustled to the car, then bustled to a waiting room that had been emptied just for them, then bustled to the exam room where Tony sat on the crinkly paper, Steve shoved into a chair too small for him in the corner, and they waited. 

When the doctor stepped in, assistant in tow, Tony clapped his hands together. "Okay! You're about to learn something that only three people outside of this room know. That means that if it gets out to the media or the general public, I'll know exactly who spread it, and when I say I'll end your career, I want you to fully process just how true that'll be. I'm Tony Stark. You'll never work again. Got it?"

The doctor nodded slowly. "I can assure you, discretion is of utmost importance to us, Mr. Stark. Dr. Cho informed us that this was a matter where privacy was deeply important and we'll take that very seriously."

"Alright." Tony took a deep breath in then let it out. His eyes flicked over to Steve, but didn't linger there. "I'm pregnant."

The doctor didn't react beyond a nod. "Do you know how far along you are?"

"Twenty-six weeks."

This time, Steve could see the doctor stop himself from reacting as he did the math. "Okay. Well, we're going to start with a general wellness check and go from there."

Steve kept his eyes on his phone to give Tony privacy. The thump of the heartbeat on the ultrasound wasn't new to him, but when the doctor left and Steve looked up again, Tony was staring at a piece of paper he clutched in his hands, pale face tight with stress.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, trying to stay gentle. Surely, he would have noticed if the doctor had said there was anything to be concerned about. 

"How can I do this?" Tony's voice was strained. "I can't do this."

Steve stood, shuffling as close to Tony as he felt was welcome. "You can do this. For her."

"I can't do this  _ to  _ her," Tony rasped. "What if she's an omega, Steve? What if she grows up and I have to tell her, 'Welcome to the world, baby girl, guess how you got here?' And she'll know that I chose to bring her into this shit hole knowing that was the future lined up for her. How can I do that?"

"I guess…" Steve held out his hand, and Tony put the paper in it. It was the ultrasound picture, a fuzzy, round head discernable amongst the static. "I guess the same way you built yourself armour and fought your way out of hell instead of letting it take you. Because a flawed, scary, painful future is better than no future at all."

Tony stared up at Steve for a long, pained moment. Then he snorted and shook his head. "Jesus, Cap. You sure did come first in Inspiring Speeches one-oh-one, didn't you?"

Steve smiled too. "I have my moments. She will too. Lots of 'em. Good ones. You know I support you no matter what, Tony." Steve cut himself off before he added,  _ but please do this.  _

Tony took the picture back. "Guess this belongs on the fridge or some shit." He stood and stretched, his stomach swelling out even under the baggy shirt he was wearing. "Okay, take me home, alpha. I deserve ice cream with pickles."

Steve tried to hide the way the nickname made his cheeks flush.

**

"On your six, Cap!" Iron Man swung wide, charging through the cloud of tiny nano-mosquitoes. Steve dodged to the left as the swarm broke and reformed, diving right at him. Steve was sweaty and worn out, sick of trying to fight something that lacked a single physical form he could hit. Every swipe of the shield cut through the swarm and it just flew around and took shape again. 

Steve tried not to be distracted by Iron Man at every turn but he couldn't deny that the corner of his eye was always trained on him. Either by happenstance or an unspoken kindness, Tony stayed close to Steve during battles.

It was terrifying watching Tony fight in the suit, but he assured Steve that the structure of the suit meant that his stomach was protected, that he was protected. As much as Steve's instincts screeched at him to surround Tony in bubble wrap and growl off anyone who so much as looked his way, he had to respect the omega's wishes.

He drew the line at not checking on him after though.

When they finally took the swarm down with an EMP, Steve followed Tony back to the workshop after debrief and knocked on the door. "Tony?" 

"Come in!" Tony called.

Steve slipped inside, closing the door behind him. "You okay? That was rough." He could still hear the humming in his ears.

"Yup." Tony was in his chair, leaning back, twizzling a screwdriver between his hands. "Do you think I should tell the team?"

Steve opened his mouth then closed it again. He rolled the question around, wondering if there was something else Tony was asking. "I've always thought it'd be a good idea to tell the team," Seve said gently. "Is there a reason you want to tell them now?"

"I -" Tony huffed. "I won't be able to fit in the suit safely in three weeks. I'll be grounded for the rest of my pregnancy."

"Ah. I'm sorry." Steve sat down in the other chair, folding himself over the back and resting his chin on his arms.

"Sometimes I hate her…" Tony murmured, turning away just a bit, until Steve couldn't quite see his face.

"Because she's kind of… making decisions for you?" Steve offered gently.

"Yeah. And because I can't -" Tony choked off. "I can't move past it, you know? I can't forget cause she's right there reminding me. What if I resent her forever?"

"I don't know, Tony." Steve ached. He rubbed his foot against his soulmark. "I feel like I'm the wrong person to talk to about this."

"Sorry. Nevermind."

"No! No, I didn't mean that you shouldn't. Just that I don't know how to be helpful. I think what you're saying makes sense, but I also think… well. She's yours. She's going to be a part of you, smell like you, look like you. And you're the one doing all the work right now, right? You made that choice, and it was a brave one. And you're, you know, growing her…" Steve trailed off, wondering if he was making it worse.

But Tony turned back towards him. "Yeah. I guess so."

"I don't think any of this is about being perfect. It's just about doing your best."

Tony rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't want to do this alone."

"You don't have to," Steve said, meaning that the whole team would help him, but the way Tony looked at him, hopeful and a little lost, made Steve's heart stuttered. 

"Asking you for help makes me feel like I'm using you," Tony finally admitted.

"You're not," Steve insisted. "I want to help you. I care about you. The whole team will want to help you. Your friends want to help you."

"Do you know what the media would say if they found out?" Tony's face clouded over.

Steve winced, hands clenching into fists. "I can imagine. Don't really want to imagine, though." 

Tony put both of his hands flat over his stomach. "Do you think I'll -" He cut off. "Do you think she'll be happy?"

Steve smiled, shuffling a little closer. "With Tony Stark for a dam? Hell yeah. She's going to be gorgeous and funny and so smart she'll make everyone else in the room feel dumb - even you."

Tony laughed.

"And she'll be so happy."

Tony was still smiling. "Thanks."

"Do you want to… I don't know…" Steve looked around the room. "Play a game?"

Tony peered up at him from under his eyelashes. "What kind of game?"

Steve shrugged. "Chess?"

"You bet, I do."

When Steve won, Tony just laughed.

**

"Grilled cheese."

"I hate you."

"Pasta?"

"You're trying to kill me."

Steve folded over the back of the couch and looked down at Tony with a smile. "If I was trying to kill you, I'd suggest pizza." 

Tony actually looked a little green at that. He groaned.

"Ice cream?"

"Just let me die of starvation, Rogers. It's hopeless."

"We'll find something." Steve stared stupidly down at Tony, completely caught up in his scent and closeness and the thrill of banter. Now that he knew the other scent was Tony's pregnancy, it had stopped souring in his nose. He breathed it in deeply, finding the threads of Tony he could pick out of the unfamiliar edge of alpha. 

And then the baby kicked.

Steve heard it and they both startled, eyes snapping to Tony's stomach.

"How did you -?" Tony flicked his eyes at Steve then back down again, both hands coming to rest on his stomach.

"I could hear it."

"You can  _ hear  _ that?"

"Uh yeah. I can hear her heartbeat too."

Tony went very, very still. "You can?"

"Yeah… I actually thought you had an arrhythmia when we first met. Before I knew. Now I can tell the difference between her and you."

"I - oh."

Steve came around to the side of the couch and he crouched down. Slowly, Tony reached out and grabbed his hand then guided it to his stomach. It wasn't long before a tiny foot - or fist - collided with Steve's palm. He couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on his face, and when Tony smiled back, Steve leaned in and closed his eyes. When he had the rhythm, he started tapping it out on Tony's skin -  _ tha-dump-tha-dump-tha-dump. _

**

"Captain?" JARVIS' gentle voice drew Steve out of sleep.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Stark is preparing to go to the hospital and he'd like to know if you're willing to accompany him."

Steve blinked stupidly at the ceiling. "What? Hospital?"

"Yes, sir."

That information slowly filtered in past the walls of sleepiness. "Wait. Is Tony in  _ labour?"  _

"Yes, sir."

_ "JARVIS!" _ Steve flung himself out of bed and scrambled for his clothes. Haphazardly dressed, he rocketed down the stairs to the garage when JARVIS told him Tony had already made it to the car. 

Tony was leaning against the car's door frame, his go bag at his feet. 

"Tony!" Steve all but collided with him, stopping himself at the last moment. "Are you okay?"

"Nope!" Tony said brightly. "There's a needy watermelon inside me that wants to be outside me and isn't taking no for an answer."

"Okay, okay. That's… normal, though?" Steve said, unable to keep from making it a question.

Tony barked out a laugh, and that was good. "True. I think it's a normal kind of not-okay."

"Alright. Let's get you to the doctor, then."

The car ride was tense, and Steve thanked Erskine for the serum more than once when the contractions kicked in and Tony used Steve's hand as a stress ball. It was a whirlwind when they first arrived at the hospital, and then the rush abruptly ended in an endless-seeming wait, Tony installed in a bed and Steve in the chair beside him. 

Their fellow Avengers rolled through, one at a time, and provided brief periods of comfort and entertainment. Pepper came by several times, but Tony passed out right after each time, her tense, high-energy vibe wearing him out quickly. Rhodey was en route, but wasn't expected to get stateside in time. The doctor assured Tony he was only a few hours away, and the contractions were more often and more painful now. 

Bruce was the last to visit, managing to distract Tony from the worst of it. When Steve came back in from getting a snack, Bruce was gone, and the room was full of doctors and nurses. Steve did his best to stay out of the way, offering Tony a hand to crush and murmuring encouragement and comfort whenever he could.

And then she was crying.

A nurse rubbed the miniature body with a sheet then laid her on Tony's chest. There was still bustle happening around them, but Steve couldn't tear his eyes away from the tiny bundle. Her face was wrinkled and pink, caught in a permanent wail, a wet mass of brown curls plastered to her face, and her tiny fists braced against Tony's bare chest. 

"Oh my god," Steve whispered. "Look at her." He bent closer, and Tony rumbled with a soft growl. Steve backed off, giving him space. The room stunk of the alpha scent of the baby's sire, and it made Steve's hands curl into fists, while at the same time, the part of the baby that was Tony made him want to gather them both in his arms and snap at everyone who got too close.

But the baby wasn't his and neither was Tony. Too tangled up in emotion, Steve slipped out of the room.

In the fresh air, Steve's head cleared a little. He should be grateful that Tony had let him help him as much as he did, but now his little girl was here and he'd be building his family. If Steve was lucky, Tony would let him keep the bond alive, platonically, let him be an uncle to the baby, and not be bothered by Steve's blatant affection for him. 

He was torn in two, half of him sensing his soulmate's pain and exhaustion and wanting to comfort him and half of him hyper-aware that the baby in his soulmate's arms carried another alpha's DNA. 

It wasn't like alphas never adopted, of course they did, but it wasn't always easy. And in this case, Steve didn't have the benefit of being encouraged to take the little girl as his own. But the thread of his still soulbond carried through Tony and into her.

He groaned and dropped his face to his hands. This was harder than he'd anticipated.

"Dad?" said a voice and Steve didn't recognize that the nurse was talking to him until she tapped his arm. 

"Sorry, what?"

"We have something for you to sign." She smiled kindly. "And your mate looks ready to pass out, so I'm sure he'd be happy for you to hold the baby for a while."

"Me?" Steve asked and then remembered that Tony was going to put him down as the sire. "Oh, right. Sure." He followed the nurse back into the room and was handed a clipboard with the birth certificate on it. 

_ Charlotte Maria Stark Rogers _

Steve stared at it, heart in his throat. Charlotte. Steve swallowed heavily and scratched his pen roughly across the line for the sire. He hadn't thought about the fact that she'd automatically carry his name. That made his heart swell with undefinable emotion.

There was another line on the chart:  _ Soulmate Registration,  _ but Steve didn't let his eyes linger there. It was too personal. Tony had put down a name, though, which meant she had one. 

He handed the clipboard back and then turned to where Tony lay in the bed.

"How're you feeling?" he asked.

Tony chuckled. "Like I've been turned inside out. Good though. All those lovely brain chemicals are doing what they're supposed to." He grinned dopily at Steve, and Steve's heart flip-flopped. "God, you smell good."

Steve pulled a chair up next to Tony's bed and sat as close as he could, trying to pick the scent of  _ Tony  _ out of the alpha stench in the room and focus on it. Tony turned towards him, his eyes falling shut.

Steve reached out a hand towards Charlotte, and when Tony didn't growl, he brushed a fingertip across her forehead.

"She looks like me," Tony said, almost fiercely, and Steve looked back down to find his eyes had opened and were settled on Steve.

"She does," Steve agreed. "She's beautiful." He flushed when he realized the implication there, but Tony didn't call him on it. Anyway, Steve couldn't argue against it - Tony  _ was  _ beautiful. "You did a wonderful job."

"Pff." Tony flopped a hand. "I barely did anything."

"Tony."

Tony swallowed heavily. "Yeah, okay. Thank you. And, you know,  _ thank you.  _ I don't think I could have done this without you."

_ You could have,  _ Steve thought.  _ You would have.  _ But instead he brushed Tony's hair back from his face. "Do you need anything?"

"Honestly? A nap? Feels weird, but I actually think I could sleep."

"Of course. What do you want to…" Steve gestured towards Charlotte.

"Can you hold her? Do you mind?"

"Really?" A sudden surge of anxiety had Steve wiping sweaty palms on his pants. 

"Yes, please." Suddenly, Tony looked so exhausted he couldn't keep his eyes open, so Steve scooped the tiny bundle off his chest and settled her in his arms. 

All of his real experience with babies was before the serum. He was small back then, too weak to hurt one by mistake, but alphas weren't trusted with babies that weren't theirs very often anyway, even as poor as he and his neighbours had been back then. He'd held a few, maybe given a bottle or changed a diaper once or twice, but not enough to feel confident.

And here he was responsible for the tiniest, newest little life. Tony fell asleep almost instantly, mouth going slack and snoring softly, and the nurses and doctors had all evaporated once everything was safe and stable. 

Steve felt anything but safe or stable. He sat dead still with Charlotte in his arms and watched her sleep. It was an odd, uncomfortable feeling that he couldn't quite define. She wasn't his, he knew that, and he didn't feel like she  _ should  _ be. But he could feel the shape of the pull he had towards Tony echoing in her. He'd read about what it was like to have a child of a soulbond, how it was a special feeling unlike any other, but he'd never heard of someone caring for their soulmate's child that wasn't theirs, biologically. 

Thinking about how Charlotte came to be made his blood boil, but there wasn't anything he could do to change that. He'd been frozen in ice when Tony had been kidnapped, but he still wished there was a face he could put his fist through, he wished there was someone he could make suffer like Tony had to suffer. But there wasn't. Instead, the universe was asking him to be gentle, caring, to protect a new, precious life instead of destroying an old, hateful one. 

Charlotte blinked her eyes open. 

"Hey," Steve said softly. "Welcome to the world. I know it's kind of a lot. I've had to do this twice and I don't remember the first time, but the second time wasn't great. So I get it. But your dam is the most amazing person I've ever met, so strong, and smart, and generous, so I think you'll get this figured out pretty quickly."

Charlotte's fist raised then fell, waving randomly. 

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "Good point." 

She had Tony's eyes.

**

Rhodey showed up a few hours before Tony was due to be discharged, and Steve left the friends to reconnect. He went back to the tower and asked JARVIS to talk him through preparing the penthouse for Tony's return. 

Since Charlotte wasn't big enough to move around on her own, there wasn't much babyproofing to do, but Steve unpacked the bassinet that was delivered and put it together, filled the fridge with groceries and formula, ran all the bottles through a sanitize cycle of the dishwasher, and folded all the baby clothes into a drawer. It was pointless busy work, Steve knew that - Tony paid a cleaning crew that would no doubt take care of all the baby stuff on a regular basis - but if Steve didn't do  _ something  _ he would crawl right out of his skin.

When JARVIS let him know that Rhodey, Pepper, Tony, and Charlotte were on their way up, Steve slipped out and made his way back up to his apartment. He wasn't even sure how he killed the time, but when there came a knock on his door, he checked the clock to find it had been four hours.

He opened the door to reveal Pepper standing there looking uncharacteristically uncertain. Steve didn't usually find other alpha energy challenging, but there was something about Pepper that always made him feel like rolling over and showing his belly. "Miss. Potts."

"Pepper, please. Steve, is it alright if I come in?"

"Of course." Steve stepped back, but she didn't come in far.

"I love Tony so much," she started with, and Steve braced himself for being turned away, out of Tony's life. "But I can only stay for a few days and Rhodey is heading back on Wednesday night. I'll be back whenever I can, but I know that the best thing I can do for him right now is keep SI running smoothly and keep the press off his back so he can relax. I'm asking you to look after him for me, both of them."

Steve wondered if she knew they were mates. She had to. "Of course," he promised.

"I know that -" Pepper cut herself off. "You care about him? He says you've been helping a lot."

"I do. Of course I do."

"And the baby?" Pepper asked pointedly.

Anger flared up in Steve's chest, but he tamped it down. He knew what Pepper was really asking: could he care for a baby that carried another alpha's DNA? "She's Tony's," Steve said firmly. "I'm not going to let anything happen to her."

"Okay, thank you." She reached out and took his hand. "I know we don't know each other very well, but the way Tony talks about you… Anyway, I'd like to get to know you better, not just for Charlotte, but because I know Tony wants you to be in his life."

"I'd like that very much," Steve said politely, twisted up by the thought that Tony might have said he wanted Steve in his life. 

**

Steve shocked awake, heart pounding, to the sound of footsteps outside his room. His first thought was  _ Tony and Charlotte  _ and he was half out of the tangle of the sheets when the door creaked open, and he could see Tony's silhouette through the crack, a tiny bundle gathered in his arms, wobbling unsteadily.

Steve launched himself across the room and caught Tony around the waist. "What's wrong?" he demanded. "What happened?"

"I…" Tony was staring down at Charlotte.

Steve pulled aside the fold of the blanket to see her tiny face. Her mouth was slack, eyes closed, chest going up and down at a pace that seemed way too rapid but was apparently normal for newborns. "She's okay?"

"I'm going to break her," Tony muttered. 

"What?"

"I'm going to fuck this up, Steve. I'm going to break her, hurt her, fuck her up. I don't know how to do this. I'm freaking out. Can you take her?"

Steve could feel, now, that Tony was shaking in his arms, his grip on Charlotte desperate but too tenuous for comfort. Steve hooked his arm around the tiny bundle and drew the baby up against his chest, keeping the other arm locked around Tony's waist.

"Thanks," Tony husked out. He wrapped both his arms around his middle now that they were free and curled in on himself, shivering violently. "Fuck -" His voice broke into something that was almost a sob, and Steve drew him into the room, sitting him on the edge of the bed. 

"Tony…" He rubbed his free hand up and down the outside of Tony's arm. "Where's Rhodey? What happened?"

"Rhodey left. Nothing happened," he choked out. "I was just sitting there, watching her sleep, and it hit me that, like, now that I'm through the pregnancy part I have to actually  _ raise a kid,  _ and I don't know how to do that, and I'm going to  _ ruin her.  _ And she doesn't deserve that. She's perfect and beautiful and she deserves to be happy. But I can't - I couldn't even - oh god, I might be panicking." He sucked in air through his teeth.

"Yeah, I think we could confidently call this a panic attack." Steve settled Charlotte in his arms so her shoulder rested against Tony's thigh. "Breathe."

Tony turned big, scared eyes on him. "She's so real now." 

Steve looked down at the sleeping baby and was hit with a similar wave of terror. She  _ was  _ real. Not a concept, not a baby bump, but a real child that was going to grow up into a real adult that Tony was responsible for - and a little bit him, too, by extension. "Yeah…"

Tony's leg started bouncing. "Steve? Now is the time you reassure me…"

"Shit, sorry." Steve huffed out a nervous laugh. "Now you have me all freaked out too."

Tony stared at him for a long beat then burst out laughing. He flopped backwards on the bed, howling quietly, arms wrapped around his middle. "Oh my god, we're so bad at this."

Steve laughed too, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, was I supposed to be the level-headed one here, Tony? Come on. What did you expect?"

Tony twisted around to grin at Steve. "Okay, fair point."

Steve brushed one of his enormous-seeming fingertips over the back of Charlotte's tiny hand. "She's so perfect."

"I know."

"I think she's so perfect that she'll be hard to fuck up. Even if we're really bad at this." Steve tried not to stutter around the  _ we,  _ and Tony didn't call him on it.

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, okay. Here's hoping."

"Plus, if I'm a terrible uncle, Nat will make up for it by being the best aunt a baby could ask for."

Tony opened his mouth like he was going to protest something then closed it again with a nod. "Agreed." He watched Steve rock the baby for a moment. "Can we stay here tonight?" he finally asked, barely more than a whisper, and Steve snapped his gaze up to Tony's.

"Of course. Do you want me to go?"

Tony gave him a strange smile. "You being here was most of the reason for me staying here…"

"Oh. Okay. I just - the scent thing…"

"If you're okay with staying…"

"Of course!" Steve scrambled to assure him. "If that's what you want."

Tony shuffled up onto the bed, wriggling onto the far side and opening his arms. Steve stood and braced a knee on the mattress to lower Charlotte into Tony's hold. There was a rather pointed amount of empty space on the other side of the bed, but Steve hesitated anyway. Tony narrowed his eyes at Steve then patted the bed. "Let's sleep. It's so late. I woke you up."

"I - ok. Just going to run to the bathroom. I'll be right back." Steve closed the door behind him and took a few deep breaths, clearing his lungs of the pleasing scent of  his omega and child. He splashed a little water on his face then returned to the bedroom. 

Tony was curled up under the blankets, arms hooked around the still sleeping Charlotte, lips pressed to the top of her head.

Steve slid in the other side, and JARVIS turned the lights down until the only glow in the room was the soft blue of the arc reactor. 

"It's nice to have a nest," Tony whispered. "Never had one."

"You're welcome here any time, Tony," Steve whispered back.

"She's going to wake you up in a few hours. And then again. And again."

"That's okay."

There was a long gap of silence, then Tony spoke, his voice carried on the barest soft breath, audible only to super soldier ears. "You're more than her uncle, you know."

The words pulled and twisted at Steve's heart. He couldn't bear to reply, and only a few minutes later, Tony's breathing evened out into sleep.

**

Steve woke up more comfortable than he ever had in his entire life. Everything smelled wonderful, he was warm and cozy, and his bond sung, satisfied and sated. He nuzzled deeper into the glorious scent, and Tony shifted against him. 

"Steve."

Steve pulled him closer, fingers finding Charlotte's leg where she was snuggled up against Tony's chest. Steve hooked them both, drawing them into the protective cage of his arms. 

"Steve…" Tony hummed softly. 

"Tony," Steve murmured back. He nipped at the back of Tony's neck. God, he smelled good. 

"Steve. I kind of can't breathe."

Steve eased back a little but his hands still wandered up Tony's side until Tony rolled over and met his gaze, one eyebrow quirked up in question. Steve's brain finally snapped on, and he scrambled backwards. "Shit, sorry. Oh my god. I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry."

Tony laughed. "I know what it is. It's okay." He stretched long, the movement of his arms sending more mouth-wateringly delicious scent wafting through the air. 

Steve groaned and almost face planted on Tony again, but Tony scooted out of bed. He lowered a slumbering Charlotte into her bassinet then headed out of the room. Steve followed after, helpless. "What do you mean you know what it is?"

"It's a postpartum pseudo-heat. Helen says the idea is to keep the alpha around while the omega is in their most vulnerable stage with the newborn. The omega isn't actually fertile, but they smell like it, and the alpha's hormones basically get tricked into thinking the omega is pregnant again and needs to be guarded."

"Um," Steve said, trying not to breathe in too deeply. Tony smelled like  _ home  _ so much more strongly than he usually did. Steve's feet shuffled him closer without permission. "Ok."

"Steve."

Steve yanked his eyes up from where they'd wandered down to Tony's collarbone. "Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"You just -" Steve swallowed heavily. "Yeah. I'm okay. Can I - can I - uh…" Steve's eyes wandered down again. "Can I hold your hand?" he breathed, right as Charlotte started fussing in the other room.

Tony barked out a laugh. "You're adorable. Okay, here. Sit." He deposited Steve on the couch then left the room. Having Tony out of sight shocked Steve's sense into overdrive, following him into the bedroom with his ears as Tony collected Charlotte and carried her back into the hall. Steve watched over the back of the couch as Tony mixed up a bottle and came back to the living room. He handed Charlotte to Steve with the bottle then flopped down on the couch, his head - miraculously - in Steve's lap. 

Steve shifted the baby to the side to look down at Tony. "Huh?"

Tony grinned up at him. "I've been around broody alphas before, Steve. I know what you need. It's okay. You did all that shit for me, letting me wear your clothes and sleep in your bed. This is for you." Tony's eyes fell shut. "Whatever you need." He yawned. "Also I could use a nap already."

Charlotte started fussing, so Steve settled down, leaning her against his chest, cradled in the crook of his arm. He worked the bottle into her mouth until she started sucking. Tony was warm and heavy in his lap, and Charlotte's rabbit-fast heartbeat pattered against his chest. It was like sliding into a warm pool of  _ family.  _ All of Steve's alpha instincts were so overwhelmed by their scents and warmth and closeness that he didn't have any brain cells left to remind himself that Tony barely wanted him as a friend in the real world. 

Instead, Steve propped the bottle up with the hand curled around Charlotte's tiny body and reached out to wind his other fingers through Tony's where they rested on his stomach. Tony let him, folding his other hand over top, eyes still closed. 

It was a bit cheap, maybe, using the pseudo-heat as an excuse to have the contact he'd been craving since the day he and Tony had met, but Tony had said,  _ Whatever you need,  _ and, god, Steve needed it. He just wasn't sure what he was going to do when it all got ripped away again.

**

The pseudo-heat lasted two weeks, and Steve was completely useless the entire time, following Tony around like a lost puppy, growling at anyone who got too close. It took all his attention to keep his hands to himself, but even though he lost all that control in the night and shoved his way up into Tony's space, Tony didn't ask him to sleep somewhere else.

Waking up wrapped around Tony was exquisite torture. Tony never pushed him away, but he didn't nuzzle back either, letting Steve be ridiculous with an amused, quiet sort of acceptance. 

The heat faded slowly, and the first morning Steve woke up without Tony in his arms was a relief and a heartbreak at the same time. He missed the easy comfort of contact, but not having an excuse for it made his stomach churn when he forgot himself and brushed Tony's arm or dropped his hand to the back of his neck. It was an awkward few days, transitioning back out of it, but without the hormones pickling his brain, Steve was able to shift things back to the way they were before. 

To his shock - and delight - Tony didn't move back to the penthouse.

Charlotte's things migrated down to Steve's apartment, bit by bit, until they were full-on co-habitating without ever talking about it. Steve learned how to care for Charlotte by watching Tony and the pleased little smile on Tony's face the first time Steve reached for a bottle at the exact moment before she started fussing made him keep trying over and over to do what he could.

"I've got it," Steve said, when Charlotte's wailing cut through their quiet evening. He had a stack of after action reports piled on the floor next to the couch while Tony did something complicated with blueprints. Steve added the report he was reading onto the top of the stack and rolled off the couch. 

A quick check revealed Charlotte needed to be changed which was something Steve hadn't had much opportunity to do, so far, but instead of calling Tony and disrupting his work, he decided it couldn't be that complicated, really. 

Tongue caught between his teeth, he popped the buttons and wriggled her squirmy legs out of her onesie. She kicked up high and he caught her heel to stop her from rolling herself over, and right there on her ankle, uncovered, was her soulmark.

Steve had never really looked at it, feeling like it was a private piece of her life he shouldn't be privy to, but he couldn't ignore it now. He ran his thumb over the mark. Bright red now, it would fade to a thin, white scar as she aged.

_ Tristan James Hugo Evans, 2007 _

"I haven't looked him up," came Tony's soft voice from behind Steve. "Maybe you don't know this but there's registries and stuff now, ways to connect."

"Ah, yeah. I heard about that. That's… handy." Steve peeled open the flaps on the diaper. "Do you think what they say is right? That it's the person with the greatest impact on your life?" Steve wondered if this Tristan would break Charlotte's heart, someday.

"Nope."

"No? You don't?"

"No... no I believe your soulmate is supposed to be the love of your life. People get it in their heads that it could just as easily be the person sent to destroy your life because love like that, that strong? It can raze cities. That's what I think."

Steve focused on the careful work of his hands, not letting himself think too hard about what Tony was saying. Did that mean he…? 

"But he's got to be over two years old by now," Tony said, swiftly bringing the conversation back to Charlotte's mate. "He's probably talking and walking and stuff."

"Huh. That's wild to think."

"Well, you were doing a lot more than talking before I was born," Tony said with a laugh.

Steve forced his hands to stop trying to fidget with the onesie. Tony so rarely brought up their bond that half the time he wondered if it was even real. "Well, wouldn't it be nice if she managed to do things a little more… conventional?" Steve offered Tony a smile and Tony handed back a clean diaper.

"Be kinda defying her genetics there, but sure." Tony laughed. "Conventional Charlie. That's what they'll call you, baby." He stuck his finger in her palm and her hand closed around the tip, lips parting in a goofy, toothless smile.

"Charlie?"

"Yeah, I think so. Course that means when she's twelve, she'll inform us she's a Lottie, but you know I've never been one for using a given name."

Steve  _ had  _ noticed, because every time Tony used his - instead of Cap or Spangles, or Lady Liberty - it made his heart flip-flop in his chest.

**

"Steve!" Tony called from the living room and Steve startled up violently from where he'd been leaning over the sink to shave, braining himself solidly on the open medicine cabinet door.

"Ah,  _ fuck,"  _ he hissed.

_ "SteveSteveSteve!" _ Tony screeched.

"Fuck!" Steve tossed his razor aside and skidded out of the bathroom, launching himself down the hall and into the living room. 

Tony was on the floor, sitting on the edge of Charlotte's blanket that was spread out flat. Charlotte was on her tummy making and releasing tiny fists. 

"What?! Are you okay? What happened?!"

"She rolled over," Tony breathed.

"What?"

"She rolled over all on her own!" Tony picked her up, kissed her belly until she grinned then laid her back down on her back. He sat back on his heels, knuckle jammed between his teeth and they both waited, watching, until her tiny legs kicked up, folded against her stomach, and ever so slowly she tipped to the side, managing to get her arm out of the way - with great effort - to let her flop completely onto her belly. "Oh my god, look at her. She's brilliant. She's only three and a half months! Call Guinness, this has to be a record."

Steve couldn't breathe. A hot, spiky knot had crawled up his throat and lodged there. A hazy whiteness leaked in at the edge of his vision and the room spun. He tried to grab something to hold onto, but he was alone, unstable, and choking on nothing. He hunched over, trying to draw in oxygen, but there wasn't any to be had and it wasn't long before terror flushed through his veins, slamming into his instincts full force and demanding he pull a breath in, even though his lungs refused to expand. He choked again, stumbling to the side and felt two hot hands land on either cheek, lifting his face. 

"Steve?" his omega was saying, his breath sweet and soft against Steve's face.

A firm arm around his waist lowered Steve to the ground, back against something firm, and then his lap was full of Tony. Tony's cheek pressed to his, lips against his ear. "Just breathe, Steve. You're okay. Everything's okay. But you need to stop trying to inhale and exhale at the same time okay? You're going to breathe it all out until your lungs are empty. With me, alright?" Tony pushed a stream of air against Steve's ear and Steve copied him without even realizing he was. 

Despite the ache of exhaling when his body was screaming at him that he needed  _ more air,  _ Steve huffed, breathing out against Tony's neck - where his face was apparently buried - until it hurt too much to keep trying. Then, miraculously, Tony breathed in, and Steve copied gratefully, tears springing to his eyes when his lungs obeyed for the first time in what felt like an hour, expanding in his chest and pumping the much needed oxygen back through his suffocating bloodstream.

The second he could breathe, tears sprung from Steve's eyes and cascaded down his cheeks. He huffed in breath after breath, only slowed by the constant, steadying weight of Tony in his lap. 

"Steve…" Tony nuzzled against him. "What happened? What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Steve shook his head.

"I feel like I need to call someone."

"I'm not hurt," Steve rasped out. "Don't call. Just - a minute."

"Okay… okay." Tony started stroking his hand up and down Steve's arm and after a few minutes, Steve had himself mostly back under control. 

When he couldn't possibly justify it anymore, Steve eased back, pulling his face out of the wet spot he'd created on Tony's shirt. He wiped his face with both hands and squirmed until Tony slid sideways off his lap. Bereft without his warmth and scent, Steve's next breath was a shaky one, but if he'd let Tony stay close much longer, he never would have let him go. 

"I'm okay. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. What happened?"

"I -" Steve cut himself off. There were excuses. He could say he hit his head in the bathroom and it made him dizzy. He could say Tony scared the ever-loving shit out of him screaming for him. He could lie. 

But he couldn't, not really, not to Tony.

"Remember when she was brand new and tiny and you were so scared you were going to do something wrong?" Steve husked out, voice sandpaper rough.

Tony nodded.

"I'm… my biggest fear is her getting older," Steve finally confessed, feeling even smaller than he used to be before the serum.

Tony's mouth opened then closed. He tipped his head to the side like a confused puppy. "Why?"

"Because… because when she's older -" Steve's voice hitched. "When you're not so scared anymore, when she's older and she can sit up and eat and laugh and crawl and - and  _ walk…  _ you won't be so scared anymore."

"And… me not being scared scares you?" Tony tried, still clearly confused.

Steve looked away, unable to watch Tony's trust in him shatter completely. "Yeah. Because if you're scared then you need me. When she's older… you don't need me anymore. Neither of you."

Heavy, aching silence settled over the room. 

"You think I'm going to take her away from you when I don't need help anymore?" Tony sounded  _ wrecked,  _ and Steve looked up sharply. Tony's eyes were bright with unshed tears. 

"Of course. You two are family. I'm just helping keep you supported until you have your feet under you."

"Jesus  _ fuck,  _ Steve," Tony growled out, showing teeth. "How -? God… did I really?" Tony shook his head. "You're her sire, Steve."

"On paper."

"No. Not just on paper. You're her sire, Steve. The - the other a-a-alpha is dead. I killed him. He was never her sire - not for a minute. I'm  _ never  _ going to take that baby away from you. Never. You're her parent too, you have been from the first moment you held her. I mean - fuck - you were hers when you asked me what you could do to help for the first time, when you showed me your mark. And I feel… I feel horrible and manipulative sometimes because you didn't ask for this, you never said that just because we're soulmates you wanted to suddenly find yourself a parent to a kid that - to -" Tony choked. "Shit. To a kid that doesn't have y-y-your DNA. Because if some  _ asshole  _ hadn't decided that - that. Because -"

Steve reached out and grabbed Tony's hand.

Tony swallowed heavily and started over. "You're her sire, Steve. I want you to be, she wants you to be. When I signed that paper, I meant it to be for real, forever. And I understand if you don't want to raise another a-a-alpha's -" Tony growled "- but if you want her, I will never take her away from you. She's as much yours as she is mine, in my mind. And she was  _ never  _ his."

"I want her," Steve breathed out desperately. "I want her."

Tony nodded, finally smiling. "Okay good. Good. I want her to have two parents and I want the other one to be you because you're a wonderful parent and doing this with you has been… I want to do this with you."

"Okay. Okay." Steve stuck his face between his knees for a moment and breathed deeply, then pushed up to his feet, drawing Tony up after him. "I want to see her roll over again."

"You sure?" Tony said, laughing through the threat of tears that Steve could still see at the corners of his eyes.

"Definitely. Sorry. I should probably have addressed these feelings sooner, huh?"

"I mean, I had the brief thought that you were terrified of our baby and now that she could roll over you were worried she'd finally attack, so yeah, maybe this was something that could have been brought up, but it's okay." Tony rubbed his hand up and down Steve's arm.

Steve set himself a little apart from tummy time when Tony went back to the blanket, not wanting his panicky stench to upset Charlotte. He watched her roll over again, letting the joy and pride overwhelm the fear this time. 

Tony let Steve put Charlotte down for her nap, and when he slipped back out of the bedroom, he found Tony in the kitchen, washing bottles. There was an open jar of peanut butter on the counter next to the sink and Tony had a spoon stuck in his mouth that he was sucking on.

Steve sidled up next to him and grabbed a dish cloth. He started to dry. "That's disgusting."

Tony grinned around the spoon. "S'yummy." He pulled it out, licked clean, and tossed it in the soapy water. "Free protein."

"Pretty sure you paid for that peanut butter." Steve rubbed the towel around the rim of a bottle. "Um, Tony? In the spirit of facing feelings before they cause panic attacks. I just… I have to ask. You say I'm Charlotte's but… am I - am I yours?" Steve kept his eyes on the bottle that was definitely dry now, rolling it around and around in his hands. 

When Tony didn't answer, Steve looked up, meeting his pained gaze. And that was really all he needed to know. Tony looked like someone had slapped him across the face.

"Right. Okay. That's fine. I just - I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page, that's all."

"Steve -"

"It's okay, Tony. really. I don't want to pressure you or make you feel bad. I just want to stop leaving things left unsaid, okay?"

Tony swallowed, rolling his tongue around in his mouth. He smelled like peanut butter and Steve flared with the aimless jealousy of wanting to lick the taste off his lips. But Tony popped the plug, letting the water flow down the drain, eyes cutting away from Steve's. "Okay…"

"Wanna watch a movie or something?" Steve offered, desperately trying to grapple back and homey normalcy they'd had just a few minutes ago.

"I - uh - I have some work I have to get done, actually. Later?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. I'm - yeah. I'll take the monitor downstairs." And he was gone.

Steve sighed, leaning against the counter, and scrubbed a hand over his face. He was sticky and dehydrated from his freak out, but instead of taking a shower, he left the penthouse and made his way down to the gym, knowing JARVIS would alert both of them if Charlotte woke up. He ran on the treadmill until he felt like his body belonged to him again then wrapped his hands and destroyed heavy bags until he felt like the instincts he was more proud of were in the driver's seat again.

He was just stepping out of the shower when Charlotte fussed, and he told JARVIS to tell Tony he had it covered. He spent the next few hours alone with the baby, wondering if Tony was giving him space with Charlotte or giving him space without Tony. 

Steve hated that one of the questions that kept rolling through his mind was:  _ could he do this?  _ There was no question that he was going to be a parent to Charlotte. He settled her in his lap, tickling fingers up her belly, and he was sure of that. But being a parent to Charlotte meant being a partner to Tony, and not the kind of partner he wanted most. Could he really spend the next eighteen-plus years co-parenting with his soulmate, keeping his feelings hidden away? For all that Tony said Charlotte getting bigger wouldn't change anything, Steve knew it would. 

She'd need her own bedroom, eventually, and then Tony would have no reason to sleep in Steve's. She'd start to go to school, and Tony would have no reason to spend the days in Steve's space. Charlotte might be Steve's baby forever, but Tony would only share himself with Steve as long as he needed to to make this co-parenting thing work. Tony staying down in the workshop until they handed off duties would get more and more common until they'd be more like coworkers than anything else.

"I love your dam so much," Steve whispered to Charlotte's perfect face, chubby cheeks parting in a smile, tongue peeking out between her gums. "And it hurts like crazy. But you are so, so worth it, baby. I'll be here for you, whatever you need. I promise." 

"Hey, Steve?"

Steve startled up, cheeks heating when he saw Tony by the door. But it didn't seem like Tony had heard. "Everything okay?"

"Yup." Steve shoved his emotions back down. "We're playing Who's the Cutest Baby in the World?"

"Cheap. Easy. A joke. She wins every time, no contest." Tony stretched and kicked off his shoes then crossed the apartment to the couch. He crouched down to kiss Charlotte on the forehead then flopped sideways beside them.

"Well, she's only fourteen weeks, Tony. Gotta keep 'em easy for now."

Tony shifted around on his back, and Steve lay Charlotte on his chest. Tony lifted her up, bumping their foreheads together, then settled her back down where she started to fade back into a doze. Tony's legs stretched out across Steve's lap, and Steve let out an internal sigh of relief, knowing Tony still felt comfortable being that close to him. As much as he wanted to back off, step away, take some breathing room apart, he couldn't. Charlotte needed them together right now, so he was going to have to power through it. Surely, it'd get easier, over time. 

"Could you do me a huge favour?" Tony asked, turning puppy-dog eyes on Steve.

"Of course." 

"Could you rub my feet?"

Steve quirked an eyebrow at Tony, smiling indulgently. 

"Please?"

"Of course." Steve settled Tony's feet more securely in his lap and started to dig his thumbs into the arch. 

"You can take my socks off," Tony said, only a slight quaver betraying what that meant. 

Steve froze. "Really?"

"Yeah." Tony wiggled his toes.

"Okay." Steve peeled Tony's left sock off then wrapped his hand around his right ankle. He tucked his fingers in the top hem and rolled the sock down. He couldn't help pushing up the bottom of Tony's pant leg to reveal the bare skin of Tony's inner ankle,

_ Steven Grant McGurran Rogers, 1918 _

Heat flooded up through Steve's face to settle at the backs of his eyes. There was a part of him that hadn't believed it was really there. He'd stilled, but Tony didn't move either, letting Steve take it in. Soulmates. They really were soulmates. Even if Tony didn't want him quite the way Steve wished he were wanted, they still belonged to each other and that meant something. Something that eased a tight twist in Steve's core and let him breath in and out deeply for the first time in what felt like a long time.

"I'm sorry," Tony whispered, and Steve cut his eyes over to him.

"No, no, Tony. Don't be sorry." Steve couldn't help but look to his ankle again. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the thin, raised, white scar. "You don't owe me this."

Tony sucked in a sharp breath. He adjusted Charlotte on his chest and kissed her then sighed. "That's not what I'm sorry for."

"What are you…?"

"I'm sorry for brushing you off earlier. After telling you not to hide stuff from me, I just walked away instead of talking."

"It's okay. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Steve petted the mark again, unable to stop himself, and Tony shivered.

"I hated it for a long time," he said softly. "I thought having a dead soulmate was the universe's way of telling me I wouldn't find happiness until I was dead."

"Oh, god, Tony."

"But you're not dead. You're here."

"Yeah, I'm here." Steve gripped Tony's ankle, grounding, palm pressed over the soulmark. 

Tony held his hand out, and Steve took it with his other. "This is what I should have said before, when you asked me if I'm yours: You make me happy. Really, honestly happy. You're such a good parent to Charlie, and you're such a good partner for me, and I just love you like crazy, if I'm entirely honest."

Steve's heart thudded to a stop. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think.

"So, yes, I am yours. I was scared of what this mark meant for so long that when it turned out to mean I got to have a nice thing? Something good? I couldn't believe it. But what kind of role model am I if I run from this? What does that teach her? Some day she's going to meet Tristan and I want that to be a good moment for her, not a scary one. I  _ am _ yours."

"Tony…"

"Honestly, I don't really know what that looks like, you know? Being bonded. Properly bonded. But I didn't know what being a parent was going to look like either, and that's working out pretty good, so… however you want it to look, I'm open to that."

"You really mean that?"

Tony's fear melted into a smile, instead. "Yeah. I really mean that. I want you to be my alpha, as well as Charlie's sire. I don't want us to just  _ do _ this together, I want us to  _ be _ together. I want to complete the bond."

"Oh, Tony, I'm - holy - wow. I'm - wow." Steve could only stare at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't say that before. I needed to get my thoughts in order."

"Don't be sorry. Never be sorry for that. I'll give you all the time in the world to get your thoughts in order." Steve gripped Tony's hand tighter, wanting to pull him closer but not wanting to dislodge Charlotte. Tony's feet wriggled in his lap, and Steve laughed. "Guess I still owe you that foot massage, huh?"

Tony grinned. "I wouldn't say no."

Steve took Tony's foot between his hands and started to rub his way across the insole. Tony flicked on the TV and they stayed there, Charlotte sleeping, until it was time to feed her. Tony stood to get her a bottle and for the first time, Steve didn't mourn the loss of him moving away, knowing he'd have him back. Tony put Charlotte on her back on the plat mat and sat beside her, watching her reach for the dangling toys. 

Steve made tea then dropped to the carpet beside Tony, handing him a mug which he set aside immediately. "I love you," Steve said, giving Tony the most honest, unqualified smile he'd managed since they met.

"I love you too." Tony inched forward a little, leaning into Steve's space, eyes dropping to his lips. He whispered, "You can kiss me."

"Is that what you want?"

"Yeah," Tony murmured, eyes falling closed, "that's what I want."

Steve pressed closer, nudging Tony's nose with his, then touched their lips together, soft and sweet. He breathed in Tony's expelled air, letting his scent surround him, then caught him in a deeper kiss, slotting their lips together. Tony melted against him, tipping into Steve's arms and seeking out more of his mouth, tongue teasing along the seam between his lips. Steve let himself be climbed, easing Tony into his lap and opening his mouth to let Tony dive inside. Tony was warm and solid and utterly surrounding, and it wasn't long before Steve was dizzy with it, head spinning, clutching handfuls of Tony but unable to get enough of him in his hold to feel satisfied. 

Tony pulled back, breath coming in sharp gasps, lips pink and wet. "Wow."

"Tony." Steve stroked his hands up into Tony's hair, barely resisting his body's insistence that he pull him back in for more. 

Tony smiled, all the way up to his eyes, and the bond sung between them, threads of connection solidifying and strengthening. In that moment, Steve felt Tony's love for him, it filled him up completely and took him over utterly, and he could barely breathe with the pressure of it inside him. By the look in Tony's eyes, he was feeling it too. Steve bent his face to Tony's neck and ran his nose up the column of his throat to suck in the scent that gathered behind his ear. He felt settled for the first time in his life - absolutely confident that he and the omega, soulmate, in his arms belonged to each other.

"I'm yours," Steve whispered.

Tony drew him back, a hand on either cheek. "Yes, you are." 


End file.
